Within our tradition, many of us are about вЂњplaying it cool.вЂќ Staying aloof. Being вЂњsafeвЂќ rather than risking looking вЂњsillyвЂќ, vulnerable, or god forbid, genuine. Rather, we pretend to not care so much. We operate want itвЂ™s вЂњno big dealвЂќ whenever actually, it really is. We state, вЂњEh, just what can you do?вЂќ to downplay or brush down frustration or hurt, to imagine we’re over it and fundamentally, dismiss it.
Individuals additionally downplay emotions when it comes to people they worry about. We donвЂ™t want to risk rejection, feeling embarrassed, or spot ourselves вЂњtoo out in the open.вЂќ Therefore alternatively, we retreat into the shelter of faГ§ade. Hiding behind walls of guardedness and pretending.
Exactly why is this an important loss relationally? For most reasons. Certain, it is safer. Fundamentally however, it is means of half loving and also, of half-living.